Before it can be about good writing, it must be about consistent writing.
Before it can be about running PRs, it must be about running consistently.
Before it can be about , it must be about being in that yoga pose in the first place.
Before it can be about fulfilment, it must be about doing something that fulfills you in the first place.
Before it can be about the content, it must be about the consistency.
Today is your lucky day, my friend.
Or at least, it could be, depending on how you interpret what will happen.
Today is your worst day ever, my friend.
Or at least, it could be, depending on how you interpret what will happen.
The choice is yours. It has always been.
P.S. I don’t know about you, but weirdly enough, being able to decide over your luck didn’t feel like a relief to me at first.
That’s a good topic for another day…
A compelling vision of who I want to be doesn’t just guide my present actions and brings me toward a fulfilling future.
It also helps me deal with the suffering that’s part of living in a complex physical body with a complex mind in a complex society in a complex, uncontrollable world.
Because no matter how strong my vision or purpose is, and no matter what I do or say, inevitable hardship will happen anyway.
So if I know why I’m doing what I do, why I’m going where I go, and why I’m becoming who I want to be, then hopefully, when life gets rough, I’ll react in a better way.
I’ll trust myself to handle the unavoidable suffering.
I’ll trust myself to minimize how much I add to the suffering.
And that makes the future just a little bit brighter for me, everyone, and everything around me.
My actions affect my identity and beliefs.
And my identity and beliefs affect which actions I take.
So, to change, I must consciously take actions that divert from my established identity and beliefs, and do what you believe is impossible for yourself.
Until it’s not impossible anymore.
It’s not an easy road, my friend. It takes courage. Effort. Sometimes pain.
Many times, it’s not worth it.
But sometimes, there’s no other way.
And in those moments, it’s good to know there’s always someone willing to show you a path, paved by Tiny Trust Builders, taking you wherever you want to go.
Since you’re reading my letters, that someone could be me, my friend.
Or anyone else you know.
I guess all I want to say is: you’re not in this alone.
The most important habit milestone is the center of gravity shift.
Initially, when you start building a new skill, your center of gravity lies with your old identity. You’re constantly fighting the pull of your old identity. And if you’d stop for even a day, you’ll get pulled right back into your old habits.
“If I don’t write today, what does that say about me? I’ve always given up in the past, and with this habit, it’ll be the same.”
The center of gravity shift happens when you’re about to miss a day and realize:
“It doesn’t matter, tomorrow I’ll start again anyway.”
When you’ve cast so many votes for your “identity of perseverance” you know that missing one day doesn’t equal giving up anymore.
When not writing for a day has become the exception, and when it happens, I get pulled right back into my writing habit.
Before the shift happens, when you’re still building self-trust, discipline is key.
But after your center of gravity has shifted to align with what you want to do anyway… you’re free.
You don’t need to know how to do something to learn to do something.
That would be the world on its head.
After all, once upon a time, you didn’t know how to walk, speak, read, ride a bike – until you tried over and over again.
That was all you needed back then. And that’s all you need right now.
Do you believe you’re good at something solely because of talent, invalidating all the work you’re putting in?
Or do you believe you can change the course of your life, and let your daily actions shape who you are?
The American psychologist and author of the book “Mindset” Carol Dweck describes how the way you think about your abilities can make or break your success in life:
When things get tough, people with an entity mindset often give up, because they don’t truly believe they can get much better.
After all,I if you believe it’s all about innate ability, then why make any effort to develop strengths or weaknesses?
An entity mindset also leads to fear of failure and perfectionism. If you’re believed to have an innate, fixed talent that’s set in stone, you’ll constantly need to live up to an unreasonably high standard for that particular talent.
People with an incremental mindset, on the other hand, thrive in tough situations: they know that through perseverance and a focus on daily practice and perseverance they can develop their skills and talents.
Even if predisposition plays an important role, switching to an incremental mindset will always make you feel better about yourself and your daily actions.
And while education and childhood experiences have a large impact on your mindset – you can always change your mind – by changing your actions.
