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    #159 What unintentional living looks like

    Unintentional living and identity building look like this:

    1. Actions are inspired by pain and pleasure.
    2. Repeated pain and pleasure lead to repeated actions.
    3. Repeated actions lead to habits.
    4. Habits shape your identity.

    “Life made me who I am, and I can’t do anything about it.”

    Intentional living and identity building look like this:

    1. Who do I want to be? What’s my desired identity?
    2. Which habits that would turn me into that person do I not have in place right now?
    3. Which repeated actions that would build that habit am I not currently taking?
    4. Which reactions to pain and pleasure triggers in my life can I change? Which pain and pleasure triggers can I ban out of my life completely?

    “While the past has shaped me, the way I choose to live my life today, tomorrow, and every day after, will determine who I am.”

    You’re living anyway. Your actions are votes for an identity anyway. So you might as well do it intentionally.

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    #252 The Identity is the Outcome

    The outcome is not the book.
    The outcome is not the marathon.
    The outcome is not the successful business.

    The outcome is not even the daily habit you form, even though they’re the stepping stones you need.

    The outcome is the embodiment of the changes we’ve internalized, the growth we’ve experienced, and the evolution we’ve undergone, allowing us to say, “This is what I now stand for. This is what I believe is possible.”

    The outcome is the identity.

    Maybe it’s less about “What do I want to achieve?” and more about “What do I want to believe?”

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    #49 Moderate to get more

    A neurotransmitter that once helped us evolve and motivated us to go out and explore the world now has us glued to screens and plates filled with sugary food.

    Dopamine tells us not just to eat, but to eat more.

    Not just to read a useful article, but click more headlines.

    Swipe through more videos and photos.

    Watch more episodes on Netflix.

    Yet, when I interrupt the dopamine reward loop and resist the need for more, I’m pulled back into the now, and strangely enough, I actually see more. Hear more. Feel more.

    Sometimes, to get more, you need to moderate.

  • #174 How to turn faith into trust

    You build self-trust by taking actions – Tiny Trust Builders – in alignment with who you want to be.

    I want to be a writer, and build self-trust by writing every day, even if it’s just one line.

    I want to learn Portuguese, and build self-trust by practicing every day, even if it’s just 2 minutes.

    But often, what stops you from taking these actions in the first place is a lack of trust in yourself.

    I don’t trust myself to write every day – I’ll give up anyway.

    I don’t trust myself to learn Portuguese every day – I’ll probably get busy and skip a day.

    There’s only one way out of this vicious cycle:

    When you don’t trust yourself to take the actions, you take a leap of faith instead.

    Because with every leap, fear turns into faith, and faith into trust.

    Trust you must.

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    #139 Habit Milestones

    The most important habit milestone is the center of gravity shift.

    Initially, when you start building a new skill, your center of gravity lies with your old identity. You’re constantly fighting the pull of your old identity. And if you’d stop for even a day, you’ll get pulled right back into your old habits.

    “If I don’t write today, what does that say about me? I’ve always given up in the past, and with this habit, it’ll be the same.”

    The center of gravity shift happens when you’re about to miss a day and realize:

    “It doesn’t matter, tomorrow I’ll start again anyway.”

    When you’ve cast so many votes for your “identity of perseverance” you know that missing one day doesn’t equal giving up anymore.

    When not writing for a day has become the exception, and when it happens, I get pulled right back into my writing habit.

    Before the shift happens, when you’re still building self-trust, discipline is key.

    But after your center of gravity has shifted to align with what you want to do anyway… you’re free.

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